One of my favourite quotes is by Albert Einstein who said: ”STRIVE NOT TO BE A SUCCESS, BUT RATHER TO BE OF VALUE”. Isn’t that inspirational!! I think that quote means try your best not to be special but to be important in peoples lives and impact them with greatness. I find that quote is like Michelle Obama’s quote that says: “SUCCESS ISN’T ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE ITS ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE YOU MAKE IN PEOPLES LIVES”. Arn’t they simular. I find that everybody should run by those quotes because everybody is important. Stop thinking money and fame and success will get you anywhere its if you know in your heart that you’re special.

Another one of my favourite quotes is by the Dalai Lama. ”BE KIND WHENEVER POSSIBLE. IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE”. I love this quote because it tells you be kind, not to show off or to seem nice but do it to encourage and inspire. I think he also means theres no limit to being nice. It’s a bit like one of our schools north stars that says: “THERE IS A FLOOR HERE BUT NO CEILING”. This quote makes me want to get up and start doing good deeds this second. If you start do a good deed don’t tell me because it does not matter it only matters to the person you did the deed too.

One month ago everyone in my class wrote a paragraph about Masks. I thought mine was OK because the spelling was good. The introductory sentence wasn’t perfect. The concluding sentence was fine. Overall it was good but it does not hook the reader at the start.

 I just made another paragraph on Minecraft Education Edition. My teacher thought we should compare paragraphs.  I got some feedback and this is my new paragraph on Minecraft Education Edition:

Minecraft Should Be an After-School Activity

    What!!!! You think Minecraft should replace traditional teaching!?!?! That’s not my opinion. I think it would be a great after school activity. Firstly, you can do it as homework. I think it would be a great idea because it would make kids enjoy and want to do their homework. Kids would think of it as they think of free time instead of school work and the bonus is that it’s educational!  Secondly, it would be good to calm yourself down if you’re stressed because there’s a lot of calming music. Most people get stressed at school so when they get home they can hear the calming music and they can play a calming game. Thirdly, the teacher can create class challenges like build your house or recreate the class. You don’t even need to use the educational edition because regular Minecraft is good too.  Finally, the reason I don’t want it to replace traditional teaching is because if you play too much you can get addicted. I don’t think kids should be playing video games 24/7, but Minecraft is educational so it’s the best if you play the perfect amount.  Traditional teaching is very important because that’s how you learn, but Minecraft is good to calm kids down after school. So Minecraft should be an after school activity.

I think I improved drastically because my introductory sentence hooks the readers. The concluding sentence was great. I used more transition words and they were spot on. One thing I still need to improve on is sentence structure. I think it makes the reader want to have Minecraft as an after school activity.